“Ma,” Sylvia looked sheepishly over to her passenger seat where she could see the gray starting to slowly litter her mother’s hair. Her mother, Sophia Ramirez, was beautiful. But it would seem with every passing year, that beauty was fading a lot quicker than she had seen in women her age. She was a tough woman, able to take the world’s burden on her shoulders. But even the strongest beasts of burden eventually get tired. Sofia was certainly tiring.
“Why did you come? I didn’t even call you,” Mom said in a tone which sounded more than a little displeased.
“Well if you didn’t want me to come then why did you get in the car?” Sylvia rebutted.
“Don’t you dare talk to me like that. I raised you all by myself, with no help from your worthless father. So don’t you ever dare think I need your help,” Mom said.
“Ma really? Why do we have to go through this every single time I see you,” Sylvia said with anger bubbling inside.
“If my car wasn’t in the shop, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now.
“The fact is ma, your car is in the shop and because I came by, you don’t have to walk nor take the bus home. Can’t you just be grateful for that?”
“I’ll be grateful when you don’t come and pick me up in a slut mobile. You’re putting that sweet boy of yours in, in, in…” her voice stuttered with anger.
“In what ma, in with what,” Sylvia’s voice climbed.
“You’re a disgrace,” Mom finished with a final blow. Sylvia rolled eyes, dismissing her mother’s words. She knew her mother to be a bitter woman, but that did not stop her words from stinging. She placed the car in reverse and started pulling out of the parking lot of the Bank of America where Mom worked.
“Too bad I didn’t have a mom to teach me how not to be a disgrace,” Sylvia muttered under her breath, actually hoping her mother didn’t hear it. There were already too many hurtful words. Under any other circumstance, if it were anyone else, Sylvia would not have stood for it. But her mother reminded her of Joshua. Her little Josh, who at first she couldn’t have cared less about; though she wanted to. Looking back now, she felt as though she did not have the capacity to love anything or anyone back then. She felt incapable of giving love and also unable to receive it. She had made so many mistakes and Josh bore the brunt of it. He was practically an orphan. Sylvia didn’t even know who his father was. That truth held her tongue; instead she would take the lashes her Mom dished out. The truth held her still, because kicking this seething cesspool of bitterness, aka Sofia Ramirez, out of her car might actually endanger the safe haven she’d created for Josh. The reality is Sophia, mother of Sylvia Garnet, was more of a mother to Josh than she had been. She was always out doing her thing, making that money, financially supporting Josh, by fattening the pocket of this aging greedy insufferable woman. Sylvia’s knuckles went white as her grip on the steering wheel tightened. She understood that Josh and Sofia, and everyone else had full right to hate her. After all she was a no good slut, a whore, a body for hire.
“Ma, I know you hate me and that’s fine. So I’ll figure out a way to take Josh full time,” Sylvia calm resolve took over.
“I don’t hate you,” Sofia snapped back. Hate might have been too strong a word. After all, a good Catholic woman like Sofia doesn’t hate. How dare she even consider Sophia, her mother, of all women, with such harsh discontent. “I just hate the demon in you.”
“Mom, I haven’t heard the words ‘I love you’ in God knows how long,” Sylvia’s voice pleaded. First time for everything she thought to herself. This was never a subject these two were prone to discuss.
“Oh stop, what difference does it make anyways,” Mom again snapped. Her face was in a pout as she looked out the passenger side window.
“What do you mean what difference does it make? You’re my mom. You are my mother, doesn’t that mean anything?” Sylvia replied, voice cracking. The jumbled thoughts irritated her tear ducks, causing them to burn.
“What difference does it make when all you do is go and find love in some other man’s bed,” Sofia said in a softer voice. “I never intended for you to turn out this way. Even though your father left me, I had you all for myself. You were mine. You were always mine. Mine to protect and to keep safe. I prayed to God that you wouldn’t fall into the same crap I fell into when I was your age. But you just ended up in worse,” Sofia said then sighed. “He needs you Sylvia. That boy, Joshua, really needs you. Not your money and not a new toy or video or computer. He needs his mother.”
“I’ve been trying my best to provide for him,” Sylvia’s words felt inadequate. At this point, she was like a horse running on heart. No physical strength to go on, there was only pride. “He doesn’t even want me around.”
“He is your son, you’re not allowed to give up on your son,” Sofia said, the words catching in her throat. Sylvia noticed the profound revelation in Sofia’s eyes. She had given up on Sylvia. The night she got the call from the Miami-Dade Police Department was probably one of the worst nights in Sofia’s life. The MDPD had called and asked if she knew this 5 feet 2 inches female with black hair. Sofia knew her daughter to be the rebellious thrill seeker, much like she had been, so she expected this call. Sofia never imagined that Sylvia would have ended up in the hospital. At the time Sofia worked nights at Walmart so she would be able to drop Sylvia to school and pick her up. But Sylvia had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd and was now failing high school. Sofia was so angry. Sofia worked so many hours to provide, thinking that Sylvia would be a good girl and do what she’s supposed to. The call from the MDPD sent Sofia rushing to the hospital. Her heart was in her mouth as she saw her 15 year old girl, hooked up to tubes. The doctors told her that Sylvia’s heart had stopped and they had to use a defibrillator multiple times to get it going again. Sofia thought that maybe this would be the wake up call Sylvia needed. She thought this would get Sylvia on the straight and narrow. She had hoped and thought for certain that this was a sign from God for her daughter to be the good girl she was meant to be, but to her surprise, Sylvia was pregnant. Sylvia, the immature, lack luster, fun seeking, back talking, angry, and rebellious child of hers is bringing another human being into the world. Another mouth to feed, Sofia had thought. Here comes another person to take care of. To make matters worse, Sylvia started hanging with the same crowd that got her into this mess to begin with and Sofia was left to pick up the pieces. But she was tired of picking up the pieces. She was tired of always being the old lady everyone took for granted. Tired of shouldering the burdens. And now she had allowed her spoiled rotten daughter to run over her and take advantage of her love. If she wanted to go wreck her life, Sofia would stand aside and let her. Sofia had given up and she knew that she was in no position to say otherwise. “He needs you, be there for him,” Sofia said and again turned her head towards the window feeling the conviction of her own choices.
This has been the fifth chapter of “Do You Think Your Mother Would Like Me?” I Hope you’ve enjoyed these chapters. The story only gets better from here. Get the the full book completely free below.
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